Collectors

Often I will be discussing cards and someone will say, “I’ve got the funniest card.” Usually when the card is produced it is folded, mutilated, stapled and looks like it was in the billfold of a farmer for 30 years or passed from salesman to salesman across the USA. A card in this type of condition would hit my garbage card box.

Every once in a while I luck out and get a humorous card in pretty good condition and add it to the collection. Just for the fun of it here are some descriptions of some of these cards:

•From a worm farmer, “HENRY’S HYBIRD WORMS, NATURES BEST FRIEND;’ shows a worm wearing a sombrero.

•A V.W mechanic’s card says, “V FIX IT.”

•An adult candy maker’s card says “NAUGHTY NIBBLES“

•A craft shop’s card shows a witch on a broom and is titled “WHICH CRAFT”

•From an estate sales group “THE FOUR CROOKS.”

•Advertising a sheep shearing business “THE SHY SHEEP SHEARING CO.” has a cartoon showing a naked sheep with a pile of wool beside it.

•A real bonafied organization? “VAMPIRE RESEARCH CENTER.”

•Do you qualify? “AMERICA’S FASTEST GROWING FUN ORGANIZATION-THE BALD HEADED MEN OF AMERICA.” It’s located in Morehead City, N.C.

•A day care center run by Richard and Cindy Weaver is called “WEAVERS LITTLE BEAVERS.”

•From a banquet tableskirting company titled “JACK THE RIPPER, WHERE THREADS ARE BORN.” Don’t ask me what it means!

•From a furniture stripping company “THE STRIP JOINT, WE TAKE IT ALL OFF”

•A store that sells handpainted clothes titled “SNOBS, LTD.”

•A comic store’s card shows a cartoon of Mighty Mouse reading--what else--a Mighty Mouse comic.

•A used record store “IN YOUR EAR.”

•A card from a firearms shop with three bullet holes in it.

•A dog grooming business titled “THE CLIP SHOP”

•A singing telegraph service “EASTERN ONION” has a cartoon showing a singing onion (must be a tear jerker).

•Dentists have some neat cards. One shows a cartoon of a dentist trying to pull an elephant’s tooth (hope he doesn’t have to put a gold cap on it).

•One dentists card has bite marks in the corner (from a customer that saw his bill?).

•Another dentist’s card states, “WE CATER TO COWARDS.” (I think I’ll go there)

•How about this card from a hamburger joint “CHARLIE’S HAMBURGER JOINT, OVER TWO DOZEN SOLD.” (I don’t think I’ll eat there!)

And finally here’s an idea for a bizcard for a produce company. On the front it could ask, “DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE PIECE OF CELERY THAT WAS CAUGHT STREAKING?” On the back of the card it could say, “IT WAS CAUGHT STALK NAKED.”